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Dec 11
2007

Nat Torkington

Nat Torkington

Top 10 Stories we WON'T see in 2008

While writing up "Stories we want to see in 2008", we came up with a few stories we just know we won't see. Forgive our silliness, but we hope you enjoyed them as much as we did.

[10] Valleywag honoured at journalism awards: "In your face, Scoble!" declares Owen Thomas at the Pulitzer ceremony.

[9] FSF founder hired by Apple: Steve Jobs embraces Richard Stallman to the Cupertino bosom, announces iPhone will run GNU/Linux. Saint iGNUcius to keynote WWDC in June.

[8] "Web 2.0" phrase retired: O'Reilly Media issues formal apology at unveiling of their new "My Web is Bigger Than Your Web" conference.

[7] Microsoft announces intention to compete with Google on energy with a name that is searchable: Realizing Google made a major PR mis-step with an energy initiative whose name is not searchable on Google (Re<C), Microsoft announced its own initiative today, with Chairman Bill Gates saying "this will produce not one but two gigawatts of energy from renewables other than coal" as he unveiled Microsoft Renewable Energy for Enterprises 2008 (Premium Edition) and the accompanying ECMA specification for DRMed electrons.

[6] Press no longer allowed to compare a new technology to Napster: ISO declares Facebook the new web standard. Library of Congress retained as official standard for amount of information.

(5 through 1 below the fold)


[5] Google fires PR, lets employees speak for themselves: Move announced in post to Google PR blog, titled "First (and last) post". ComScore estimates half the number of new web pages created in March were Google employee blogs.

[4] 3D printers drop below $200: Market size not expected to exceed one. Printer supplies industry booming, however.

[3] New web-based app from lightweight startup 37signals puts lead in economy's pencil: dollar up against Euro, housing market "stable" pronounces Fed, and balance of trade with China positive for first time in decade declares "astonished" Ben Bernanke.

[2] Internet sent to Senator Stevens on Monday arrives Wednesday: replacement of reliable oil-powered Internet trucks with foreign tubes blamed.

[1] AT&T found fully preserved in tar pit with consumer still in jaws: "Rare and precious glimpse at how these noble giants must have lived" says paleontologist.


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Michael H   [12.11.07 04:37 AM]

"Web 2.0" phrase retired - Maybe the unlikeliest of them all.

Eugene   [12.11.07 06:42 AM]

I must be missing something but there are 10 stories where the title says 6.

gnat   [12.11.07 10:45 AM]

@Eugene - sorry, the hazards of finishing the draft in the wee hours of the morning. Fixed. (Although my sleepiness is there for all to see in the URL, d'oh)

Tim O'Reilly   [12.11.07 12:29 PM]

Michael -- I agree. Web 2.0 caught the wave, but I now try to be more specific about which of the various aspects of Web 2.0 I'm talking about: "the internet operating system," "collective intelligence applications," "ambient computing," etc. The real point for me is in the principles, like "Data is the Intel Inside," "Small pieces loosely joined," "Users add value," etc.

Tim O'Reilly   [12.11.07 12:41 PM]

Nat,

I've now read the AT&T prediction at least a half dozen times, and it still makes me crack up. And the comment on your other post, about the special level of hell for people who make proprietary connectors... Don't get me started.

You have a gift for outrageous humor.

Aren't all the comedy writers supposed to be on strike? Is it time for a tech-flavored version of The Daily Show or the Colbert Report?

Srinagesh Eranki   [12.12.07 06:43 PM]

Great list! I would like to propose ..

Steve Ballimer on "Lessons Microsoft can learn from Google"

gnat   [12.14.07 07:05 PM]

@Srinagesh - the first lesson being "it's amazing how far a company can go without someone at the top throwing chairs".


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